We’ve all been there—you start talking to someone, and before you know it, you're wondering how the conversation took such a frustrating turn. Whether at home or in the workplace, we often think we're being clear, but the message gets lost in translation. Enter Charles Duhigg’s TEDx talk, "The Science Behind Dramatically Better Conversations." His insights into why conversations go wrong, and more importantly, how to fix them, are not only helpful but actionable. And at OneBXL, we've seen the power of these strategies first-hand with our clients.

The Disconnect Dilemma: Why Conversations Go Off the Rails

Have you ever vented about a tough day, only to have the other person immediately jump in with advice? It’s not that they’re wrong, but that’s not what you wanted, right? Duhigg experienced this with his wife. He’d come home after a long day looking for empathy, but she’d offer practical solutions. The result? Frustration.

According to Duhigg, this happens because we’re not having the same kind of conversation. There are three main types of conversations: practical, emotional, and social. When we mismatch these—like when someone wants to share feelings, and the other person offers advice—communication breaks down.

At OneBXL, we get it. When we're working with clients on hybrid events, for instance, it’s essential that we understand whether they need practical guidance or just a sounding board for their ideas. We've learned that being able to switch gears and match the conversation type helps us build stronger, more effective relationships with our clients.

The Power of Deep Questions: Unlocking Real Connection

Here’s the trick to figuring out what type of conversation you’re in: ask deep questions. Instead of sticking to surface-level topics like, “What do you do?” try something that invites personal reflection—“What do you love about your job?” It’s a game changer.

In one of the studies Duhigg mentions, people were asked to share their experience with crying in front of someone else. Uncomfortable? Definitely. But after sharing, participants reported feeling more connected than they had in ages. Why? Vulnerability is powerful, and deep questions encourage that.

We’ve found this approach vital when producing video podcasts for our clients. It’s not just about setting up a camera and microphone—it’s about asking the right questions that get to the heart of what they want to say. By understanding our clients’ true needs and values, we can create content that resonates with their audience, making their message more impactful.

How a Doctor Used Deep Questions to Transform Patient Care

Duhigg shares the story of Dr. Adai, a cancer surgeon, who faced a puzzling problem. Even when he told patients they didn’t need risky surgery, they still insisted on it. The issue wasn’t with the advice, but with how the conversation started. Instead of giving medical facts upfront, Dr. Adai began asking patients, “What does this diagnosis mean to you?” The emotional conversations that followed helped patients make more informed, less rushed decisions.

At OneBXL, we take a similar approach with hybrid events. Often, clients come to us asking for technical solutions—live streaming setups, event recording, the works. But by asking the right deep questions, like “What’s the key message you want your audience to take away?” we uncover their deeper goals. This helps us tailor our services so that the final product doesn’t just tick the technical boxes but truly delivers on the emotional and social aspects of their event.

Why Better Conversations Matter More Than Ever

We live in a world where it's easier than ever to talk past each other. Duhigg reminds us that there’s a science to meaningful communication, and it’s something we can all learn. By asking deep questions, we can better connect, understand, and engage—whether it’s at work, at home, or with a stranger.

At OneBXL, we’ve seen firsthand how effective communication transforms projects. Whether we’re creating high-quality video content or coordinating hybrid events, our goal is always to connect the dots between our clients’ practical needs and their deeper values. It’s why we ask the right questions from the start, ensuring every project we work on is aligned with the client’s true vision.

Further Reading

The 7 Essential Elements of Effective AI Prompting for Content Creation
Mastering Content Creation with AI and Open-Source Tools: A Step-by-Step Guide
The Power of Repurposing: Extending the Lifespan of Hybrid Event Footage
OneBXL’s Guide to Using Zoom for Your Next Hybrid Event